February is known to be the month in which love is celebrated. There is always that rush to buy gifts and make plans, usually between intimate partners. Who doesn’t love, love? The atmosphere perhaps brings us to a place where we once felt loved or maybe makes us more appreciative of our current relationships. Love though, should not be limited to being celebrated in one month. We should daily seek to show it.
For the month of February, we will be focusing on love, courtship and marriage. We will not be able to exhaust the topic, but I hope you will gain insights and positive lessons that you can take away and implement in your own life and relationships.
There are many who, during the month of February, and perhaps in other situations, feel left out and perhaps unloved. Many yearn for intimate love from a significant other and though not all hope for it, there are those who look forward to settling down at one point or the other. There are some considerations though. Let’s discuss a few of them.
Before one enters a romantic relationship, and especially when courtship and eventually marriage are the goal, there are certain important things that should be considered. Additionally, there are personal goals that must be met. Becoming a part of a marriage union is never about two halves coming together, but rather, two wholes becoming one. Yeah, relationship math doesn’t quite add up, but this is the reality. Each individual, in the union, should be holistically developed. No, not perfect, but whole.
Let us look at two examples from the Bible:
Mary and Joseph
Mary, the mother of Jesus, experienced a holy conception. She was a virgin made to be pregnant with the son of God. When the Angel of the Lord visited her to tell her the good news, he first told her that she was blessed among women, highly favoured and the Lord was with her. The birth of the Son of God was a big deal. Prophets, for years, have been foretelling of the Messiah who was to come to save His people from their sins. He was to be mankind’s Saviour, their only hope in the world of sin. The woman chosen to carry and train him up then, too, would have been a big deal. Mary was found to be a blessed woman and favoured in the sight of God. This tells me that she must have been doing something right and she must have been of good character. Mary was God-fearing. Her readiness to be used by the Lord for the task and her humble response proves this fact. “Then Mary said ‘behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be done according to your word.” (Luke 1:38).
Special attention must be paid to Joseph’s behaviour. During their time the belief was, if a woman was to be wed to a man but she was unfaithful and especially found herself pregnant, she was to be called out for her actions publicly and stoned. But we are told in Matthew 1: 19 that Joseph was a just man and he opted not to make a public example out of Mary when he found out she was pregnant. His idea was to put her away silently. In my opinion, Joseph must have been a man of good character to be able to come to such a conclusion. It takes a man who is concerned about the well-being of others, one who exercises forgiveness and second chances, to think to not embarrass the woman he is about to marry to, even though the evidence showed that she may have been unfaithful. In our world today, it takes nothing for people to embarrass others. Daily, videos and photos are circulated on social media that finds persons in embarrassing situations. Revenge is rampant around us, in various forms. I wonder if we can deal with each other with compassion, taking from Joseph’s example.
Joseph was also hardworking, which is a very desirable characteristic, to say the least. He worked as a carpenter and was able to even share his trade with Jesus. Men and women ought to be hardworking and dedicated. This should be developed before entering a serious relationship. One ought to be able to bring something to the table. See about your personal development first, while you’re single, then consider blessing someone else with what talents you have acquired.
God entrusted the birth, training and development of His Son to these Mary and Joseph. I do not think they were perfect people, but they had good character and giving that it doesn’t take a day or two to build character, I think it is safe to say that they were whole before getting together. They humbly accepted the task of being used by God and played important roles in the life of Jesus.
Ruth and Boaz
Boaz was an honourable man. He was wealthy and owned vast fields for the growth and harvesting of grains. From the information we are given about him we can also see that he was a godly man, as be bids the blessings of the Lord on the reapers as he passed them in the fields. In his days, those who owned fields were to leave some grains behind while they are harvesting in order that those who are poor may reap for their families. Boaz allowed this which also proved his godliness and care for others.
When he saw Ruth among the reapers he enquired about her and made sure to let her know where she can reap, when thirsty where to find something to drink and he gave her food to eat. He made sure she was comfortable, again pointing to the character he had developed before they got into a relationship. He bestowed blessings upon Ruth because he had realized her good character and how much she has done for her mother-in-law Naomi. Naomi’s husbands and two sons passed away, one of which was Ruth’s husband. Naomi had encouraged her daughters-in-law to return to their families as she intended to return to her homeland. One accepted and the other, Ruth, decided to stay with Naomi and returned with her. Upon their return Ruth had been reaping grains for both of them and helping Naomi out. Boaz admired this about her and gave word to his servants that she is to reap as much as she wants and is not to be troubled. Ruth also was of a noble character, having decided to stay with her widowed mother-in-law and take care of her.
When husbands die, the closest male relative was to take the female as a wife. He was also to redeem any lands the family once owned. Ruth found herself in that predicament and it turned out that Boaz was a relative of her late husband. Though Boaz admired Ruth, when he learnt that she could possibly be his wife, he did not just run with the idea and marry her, taking her for himself. Instead, he, with integrity, made her know that there was a closer relative whom they should contact first. Ruth and Boaz eventually got together. God was able to use that union to bring about Obed, David’s grandfather and a direct descendant in Jesus’ bloodline.
Nothing beats a good character. It will not only make the individual who acquire it a better person but also a more attractive person. Apart from godliness, having a good character and being hardworking, before courtship and marriage skills of money management and home making should also be learnt. Become her, become him then match yourself with one whom the Lord blesses you with. Things will get tricky if you first tie yourself to another then try to find out who you are and what your goals in life are. You may come to understand that you become lost in someone else.
I pray as you contemplate on love, you will yourself become more loving and loveable. I pray God will be able to bless and use your union- or future union- for His glory. As you determine who you are meant to be, enjoy becoming her or becoming him. Blessings.
ThreeSixteen Ministries 