Hello there and welcome to another blog post. In this article we conclude our look at brokenness; broken things and broken people. In the previous three posts we discussed how broken this world we live in is and how our hearts and minds, at some point, also become broken. One thing though, that we see in common, is the solution to brokenness. It has always been and will continue to be Jesus Christ. The answer to all the questions we have and the trouble in this world is Jesus. We conclude by focusing on broken relationships and no doubt, the solution is Jesus.
You may have found yourself, in what is considered to be, a broken relationship at one point in your life or another. Relationships go sour for a variety of reasons such as differences in personalities, one person being inconsiderate, harsh spoken words, dishonesty and betrayal. The issues are sometimes just trivial, such as a simple misunderstanding but in other cases the issues are very serious and hurtful.
Relationships don’t have to stay sour though and that which was once broken can be mended. When a relationship ends because of a hurtful thing that was done or said to you, it can seem impossible to ever be friends or just talk with the offender. Hurt can sometimes cloud our judgment. Don’t get me wrong, not every relationship is meant to be what we hoped they would be, but we were never meant to have animosity with each other. The Bible in Romans 12:18 tells us, “if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” If it is within your control, live in peace with everyone and that means even the person who said some hurtful things to you or the one who physically or emotionally hurt you. This is better said than done, I know. I struggle with letting go of the hurt others have cost me but when I finally let go, not only am I at peace with them but also with myself.
There are times when we are the offenders. Truth be told, we hurt people too, whether intentionally or not. In these circumstances we should be ready to apologize for our wrongs and the hurt caused. Someone once said, “second chances can work better than the previous ones as you learn from the mistakes and never commit them again.” That is what it takes to mend a broken relationship; giving someone a second chance or being given a second chance yourself. The hope is that the lesson is learnt and the hurtful behaviour is not repeated. We will never know the outcome unless that second chance is given.
I have thought of a few steps that can help to mend a broken relationship. Let’s look at them:
Pray about the situation– Talking to God about how you feel can be so refreshing. You will realize there is at least one person you can speak to about what is going on in your relationship. And God has such great insights for you, may He will send you to the Bible and you will find the perfect scripture, or you will hear a song that speaks to your situation or He may send someone with a relevant word for you. I have many examples of talking to God about something then receiving a sermon on it at church that week. God hears friends, God hears.
Talk to the other party– Wounds get worse when we don’t pay any attention to them. They don’t heal when not addressed and neither will your situations. Many times issues stem from a simple misunderstanding that one conversation can resolve. Tell your side of the story and actively listen to the other side.
Forgive– Again, this is not the easiest thing to do, especially when the hurt goes deep. But you should try. Letting go not only helps them but it helps you. And when you’ve hurt someone else, you would appreciate their forgiveness. When you get the chance to, forgive people. Love them as God loves them.
Get professional help– Some situations may require a mediator, someone who is unbiased and is able to listen to both sides of the story and help to come up with amicable solutions.
Matthew 6:14 says, “if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.” You alone really know how many times you have messed up, how many times you have disappointed God, how many awful things you have done or said, how many times you were a negative influence to others or how many times you have pierced Jesus’ heart as if He was on the cross all over again. How many times have you asked for forgiveness from God and not received it? How many times have God given up on you and decided not to wake you up? Regardless of how far you went, did you ever return and He was not there for you? Or the very first time you accepted Jesus, did you have to be perfect first for Him to accept you? God’s forgiveness doesn’t end, and neither should ours.
Perhaps you are thinking that you have never received God’s forgiveness, but the fact that you are reading this blog is evidence that you have. Extend that same love to someone else. And surely, the relationship may not revert to what it once was but you can live in peace with them. Do this, for their sake, for your sake, for the sake of those who may be affected and also for those who may be looking on. Your story might just be a positive turning point for them.
ThreeSixteen Ministries 